There is nothing of substance in these lines. There is no story, nor morale, not even something to chuckle at. So, please stop reading now.
Well, here you are. I thought you left, but you continue to read despite the fact that I asked you not to. Alright: I guess you are waiting to find a hidden gem, a word or a flowery phrase that makes your day, or at least provides something positive to think about. I’m telling you, there are no fancy words or hard thought sentences or enlightening paragraphs here. So, please stop reading now.
Oh, I see. It is like when you go to the movies with someone else and despite the fact that the movie is bad, the simple fact that you are in good company makes you stay there until the end. Or when alone you start reading a magazine article and want to finish it because either:
a) it is very good and grabs your attentions right from the start or
b) it is very bad but you think it is a waste of money to have paid for the magazine and not read it entirely.
Either way, I feel awkwardly and somehow pleased that you are still here. But the case of this particular article is just like option b. There is nothing worth reading here. I repeat: there is nothing worth reading here. So, would you please stop reading now? Thanks.
Are you sick? What are you doing continuing wasting your time trying to find something of value, or perhaps humorous on these lines? Is that you have nothing better to do? Do you suffer from insomnia and these types of lame reads put you to sleep? Do you feel the need to read so that I don’t feel my effort put in here goes to waste?
Believe me; I’m fine if you stop. Actually I asked for that right from the start. Didn’t I? Just please think about all that and realize it once and for all: there is nothing worth reading in this article.
I have to ask you once again to please stop reading right here, and go do something more productive.
Hm. Alright, only because you are still here, and only because you have read up to this point, I’ll let you know that I wrote these lines, although not exactly the same words, when I was nine years old. I did it and passed it along to a few friends. Some found it very funny and transcribed the entire thing to their notebooks. Some took my paper (it was only one double-sided manuscript) to their moms and siblings, and somewhere in the sharing I misplaced it. But the idea was not lost, as you can see.
There. I said it. Now you know this post was born in the early seventies. For the idea, it must feel real good to be resuscitated. However, it is time to put the final period on it once and for all. Please:
Stop reading now.